Recovery Mode
by Plinkoid
Summary: He had always secretly liked cute and effeminate toys when he was a kid.  Therefore, it was no surprise that he now secretly liked the cute and effeminate Butters.


**Recovery Mode**

They were occupying the bench right behind the bus driver and one of them was on the verge of falling asleep.

He, on the other hand, was wide awake. The lights from the dashboard and from the street lampposts kept him alert as he watched the white lines painted on the highway pass by rhythmically. He would have gladly exchanged his awareness for his partner's drifting subconscious. God knew he needed some sleep.

Yes _the_ Eric Cartman was getting fed up with his own thoughts and only wished for his mind to shut down, which it hadn't seemed to have done much over the course of the fast-paced summer.

It had all started on the first day of the said summer, engaged in yet another spat against Kyle Broflovski, he had been pushed into saying that he could easily put a foot in every state before the start of college; that had been two months away in that instant and was now just a month away.

Of course he wasn't ready to leave by himself, he would rather bite his tongue off than admit it but he really hated being left all by himself, he was always starving for someone's company. Unsurprisingly, the only person ready to side with him had been the gullible and naïve Butters.

So stealing his mother's credit card once again, he left with Butters for the ultimate road trip. It had been bearable at first, but soon enough it started to dawn to them that their task would likely fail and they had started rushing. And rushing in this case meant that they spent more time travelling than doing any actual sight-seeing or any other touristic activities. That also meant no time apart.

His infatuation for his blond childhood _friend_ was being shoved right into his face. And he was already beyond his breaking point. He was having a harder and harder time concealing his care with annoyance and was definitely turning soft for the smaller boy. And all were aware that once you put Cartman and soft into one same sentence, it could only be a bad omen.

"Hey," a small voice pulled him out of his infuriating thoughts and he turned slightly to see a sleepy Butters fall onto his shoulder in what seemed to be exhaustion, "Today was fun, right?"

The blond gave him an encouraging smile, but his blush and glassy eyed look didn't escape the fatter of the two. He knew Butters was steadily becoming sicker and sicker. He didn't like it. He didn't like it because he was slowing him down, he didn't like it because if it became serious their trip would need a momentary pause, he didn't like it because it was annoying how weak he was being and he didn't like it because he cared. And if it in fact did get serious, it would become very hard for him to hide his feelings.

Frowning at his frail form he only answered with a dull "Right" but it was filled with many unspoken words of care and comfort.

He continued staring at the unchanging scenery as the night bus kept on rolling towards their next destination. Thankfully sleepiness started seeping through him as the head that was resting on his shoulder became heavier by the second, having someone's definite and even breath next to his own frame was assuredly helping him fall to sleep.

That was, until the bus driver decided it would be a good time to considerably turn up the volume of his stereo.

Awaken with a jolt; he frowned in disgust at the way his head had leaned against his companion's head. He was awake and furious with the entire world. What made it worse though was the way Butters coughed feebly as he was being pulled out of his much needed slumber. He missed the days when he thought he liked it when the other boy was suffering, until he figured out that what he truly liked was the boy himself. Since then, the thought of someone messing with the helpless blue eyed kid pissed him off beyond belief.

Kicking hard at the back of the driver's seat he started spurting out obscenities and insults to the bus driver; ranting about his audacity for disturbing paying customers.

Needless to say, the situation turned to him and Butters against the world. As the other passengers who had also been sleeping awoke not because of the subtle music but his loud outburst.

It was no surprise that they got kicked out of the bus, and as they stood next to the mostly empty highway he continued harassing the bus driver although he could no longer hear him as he drove off. Flipping off the departing vehicle and proclaiming his hate for all good things in the world, he completely forgot of the existence of his partner in crime. Said boy had taken a seat on the damp grass a few meters away from the road and was looking up at the midnight sky.

Finally calming down he noticed this and was not too pleased, "Butters what the hell are you doing over there?"

"Looking at the stars," Butters answered dreamily, "They're very beautiful you should sit down and look at them with me," he added hopefully.

Of course, this still did not bid well with him. "Butters," he stated in what sounded like a dangerous tone, "We are in the fucking middle of nowhere, we are way over our heads in this bet and now we have no absolute way of moving forward!"

"Look around you," he continued with rage, "There is nothing. Nothing for miles. Just grass, your stupid stars and us! We won't even make it back to Colorado to start college we'll be stuck in this god-awful place forever!"

He was annoyed at the shorter boy's laughter, having not realised yet how much he was blowing things out of proportion.

"It'll be fine", he answered in a calm voice, "We'll just hitchhike our way back to civilization, but for now we can look at the stars."

He finally took a good look at him, understanding that that wasn't the real reason he was unwilling to move. Obviously he still wasn't feeling well and was merely finding an excuse to sit down. He should have been furious against the larger boy, who had destroyed his chances of sleeping peacefully in a heated transport, but it was a well-known fact that he never got mad at him.

Cartman sighed, deciding that if he pretended to look at those stars the other boy would shut up.

Strangely enough, it was the brunette who felt to need to break the silence after long seconds of stillness.

"Why do you even come with me in these god-damn stupid adventures? Nothing good ever comes out of them for you," he spoke the words seriously as if the answer could matter.

"Because you're the funniest person ever," the blond answered in what oddly sounded like an affectionate tone.

Although it didn't seem to be the right answer.

"God damn it Butters. Was that supposed to be a compliment? Because it seriously sucked ass," he huffed, truly insulted.

"What? No I mean it. You're the only person I know who actually does what he wants," he spoke softly, his speech chopped with coughing fits. "Everyone else I know, they're stuck in boring lives they don't really want to live. You always go for what you want!"

Cartman's frown only deepened as he considered that he wasn't actually going for what he wanted in life, although what he wanted always seemed to be right next to him with a big stupid grin on his innocent face.

"Plus you're not nearly as mean as you used to be."

He froze at that comment. His mean streak had always been his security blanket, a way to remind everyone that he was there. If Butters didn't think he was mean anymore, he might as well have been vanishing by the second.

"I mean… When we were kids every single one of your plan seemed to always involve me in some state of cross-dress or undress," he added nostalgically, "It was a little terrifying…"

He felt his face would soon split in half with the ever growing frown. His friend was being such an idiot! Of course he had to stop doing that, if anyone else had noticed they would have been smart enough to notice it wasn't some plot to terrify him, but that it was exactly what it looked like. That Cartman wanted to see Butters dressing up as a girl or dressing down.

"So yeah," he finished wiping his running nose on his coat's sleeve. "You do what you want and you're nice," he recapitulated as if those words were a gift to his larger friend.

Still frowning he met Butters' gaze and snarled weirdly as he realized what he needed to do. He'd just have to live up to the boy's expectations and do what he wanted to do.

It annoyed him because the boy was currently filled with germs, it annoyed him because they were still in the middle of nowhere, it annoyed him because it was the other boy who had taken charge and not him and what annoyed him most of all is that he didn't really care. And that the world could be collapsing on itself and he would still want to kiss Butters.

Still not breaking the locked look, he took a hold of his jacket's collar and pulled him into a forceful kiss, finally letting himself be at peace with who he was and what he truly wanted.

Never taking his eyes off of him he saw the way he shut his eyes and the way he pulled himself forward to be closer to him. It was a wonder how the blond could possibly like the brunette after all the years of tormenting, but it seemed clear enough that the infatuation was mutual.

Pulling away he kept his frown in place, "Was that mean enough for you?" he asked, still insulted by the earlier comment.

The smaller boy shifted his gaze and toyed with his fingers, a habit he had never broken. "I don't know," he whispered breathlessly. Then he lifted his eyes and gave him a hopeful look "Maybe you should try again…"

Even though Butters was sick and that they would surely not win their bet and they still had no way home, Cartman was perfectly content with just kissing him for now.

**I do not own South Park C=**


End file.
